Figure it out

rant:

what to do

where to move

what job to take

where to live

and what happens next.

all things I need to figure out!


Thankfully my keys magically appeared at my friends house today. i don't really care how they got there or who put them there I am just so thankful that they have finally appeared!  It is almost the end of the month and I really seriously still have no plan for what happens next.  I'm very excited to go home, but at the same time dreading it! I also love Austin and it will be sad packing up, and certainly terribl driving home.. that is if my car even makes it.

And then of course.... there is the past. I have recently been meeting people, and on MEETUP have been messaged my numerous people. Honestly it would be really great for me to meet new guys and see who is out there... but at the same time it's been two years since my ex and I dated, yet we both still like each other. I'm totally still meeting people and have been talking to other people, but nothing has sparked like it did in the past.

So going home obviously makes that situation difficult for me as well.

As I am getting older.... my friends are now all getting engaged, married, and having children. Even when I am work babysitting and nannying I see the children and their parents and it just makes me sad! I am so happy for them, but it makes me sad feeling alone! I even house sat this week at the cutest house ever with a little fence in the backyard for the dogs, and thought how quaint there house was (newly married couple) I then saw on the fridge their ultrasound and instantly felt sad again! It's not that something needs to happen immediately it is just that I want that for myself and sometimes I freak myself out thinking I may be alone forever, or I am making a mistake doing this or that!

ha guess that's what people call

"single girl problems"



good night Austin.